Liars' League

HELLO HALLOWEEN! Spooky stories read live at Bell, Book & Candle on Tuesday 8th October

Is that autumn in the air, or the whiff of a snuffed candle?
But we're sure we shut the window ... 

 

Perhaps it's a hint of sulphur from the hellishly good haul of scary stories chosen for our harrowing pre-Halloween event BELL, BOOK & CANDLE on Tuesday 8th October? Yeah. That's probably it. 

 

This spooky season we've selected tales of poison-books & creepy crosswords, bodies in the attic, onanistic alchemists, ghost cats (& dogs, & birds) & wives who just won't stay dead. Curious? Check out the stories & authors below: £5 tickets are now available here - don't let the bell toll before you snap yours up!  

 

WINNING STORIES for BELL, BOOK & CANDLE

 

"Bag of Bones" by Angelita Lapuz Bradney NEW AUTHOR - read by Margaret Ashley

 

"Two Down" by Hannah Noyce NEW AUTHOR - read by Kim Scopes

 

"Nipped" by Joshua James Jordan - read by David Mildon 

 

"This Big Future" by Elizabeth Stott - read by Clive Greenwood

 

"Family Recipes" by Lisa Farrell - read by Gloria Sanders

 

"Little Man" by Rhys Timson - read by Tony Bell

 

... & if you can't wait till the show, the five excellent, brand-new stories from our September WOMEN & GIRLS special are now online: just click to read the stories, watch the videos or listen to the podcast.

 

 

BELL, BOOK & CANDLE 

Scary stories for Halloween 

is on TUESDAY 8th OCTOBER

Tickets £5: 6.30pm doors, 7.30pm show

Downstairs at The Phoenix

37 Cavendish Square, London W1G 0PP 

Twitter / YouTube / Facebook / Podcast

 

Liars' League

www.liarsleague.com

Writers write. Actors read. Audience listens. Everybody wins.

 

 

Please click "continue reading" to see author & actor bios for this month's show

Talons & Teeth by Lizzie Muncey

Read by the author (57 minutes into podcast, here)

I live just over the road from them; directly opposite. If I wanted to, which of course I don’t, I could see right into their lounge from my bedroom window. I’d have to stand on a chair and climb on my chest of drawers to do it, but it would be possible.

The old one is a bit wild nowadays, if I can put it like that. She’s developed a strange, intense look about her. And a mad laugh-come-cackle. With the middle one it’s more of a general crumbling. An overall dishevelment. She used to be an attractive young woman, but now it’s like she resists her beauty. And the youngest one too, having been such a quiet, biddable child, has loosened. Now she walks around barefoot and I can tell, even from this distance, often neglects to put on a bra.

Tiny Furies by E. Ce Miller

Read by Martine Richards (1h 15min into podcast, here)

It all started with the bento box. Sort of.

Bree's mother—the one still bragging about the farmhouse sink she'd installed in the kitchen of her mid-century Craftsman cottage, even though most of us had already stopped by at some point to compliment it—saw some account on Pinterest, and the next thing we knew, the entire first grade came tumbling home one afternoon demanding sunflower butter on sprouted wheat bread cut into hearts and stars. They wanted a rainbow of bell peppers in one compartment and something called tempeh in another. Their eyes beseeched us as they spoke reverently of a spoonful of plant-based yogurt dusted with Ceylon cinnamon for dessert.

Karma by Katie Lewis

Read by Alexandra Kenna (4min 40sec into podcast, here)

Anisha receives her first task at 2 p.m.

>Steal a hat from the souvenir stall at the entrance to the Cardiff Coffee Convention. You have 25 minutes.

Her heart thumps; her palms are sweaty. She can’t do this – she’s never even stolen a pen before! But the first message she got on the burner phone was clear: complete three tasks by the specified deadlines, or she will die and so will Nidra. Every Karma viewer knows of participants whose loved ones paid the price for failure or snitching. Anisha doesn’t understand how she ended up in Karma’s sights but she loves her little sister too much to risk it.

All the Times I Thought I was Pregnant by JM Cyrus

Read by Aren Devlin (35 minutes into podcast, here)

15 September 2017. I was 12. Most of my friends at school, some of my frenemies too, had started their period over the summer. The holidays hadn't just granted new tans and stories of holiday boyfriends. But it hadn’t blessed me.

One thing led to another, insecurities building on each other, and before long I was convinced I hadn’t started yet because I was to be the next virgin mother.

I told my mother about this once. Okay, I told her about it several times. All right, many times. When she got bored with me I checked the internet.

Turned out I wasn't pregnant.

 

A Doll's Head in Hackney by Kathryn Sharpe

Read by Miranda Harrison (19 minutes into podcast, here)

Shana opens the window that overlooks Clapton Way, the one with mould at the seal that never disappears, and decisively throws the doll’s head into the street. Moments before she’d snapped it clean from the body. She looks at her baby in the corner of the kitchen and living area who is still screaming. Still eight months. Still difficult. The smell of weed from the corridor laps at the door and she breathes in, half hoping for a high that won’t come. 

LATEST EVENT: Women & Girls, Tuesday 10th September

Hurrah! Tuesday September 10th saw the 8th edition of our annual talent-spotting tour-de-force of female-led fiction, Women & Girls! We had five stunning stories by five women writers exploring everything from aliens to arson: winning stories and full details are below. 

 

WINNING STORIES for WOMEN & GIRLS (8th edition)

 

"A Doll's Head in Hackney" by Kathryn Sharpe, read by Miranda Harrison

Divorce, adoption and a doll's head to bind them ...

 

"All the Times I Thought I was Pregnant" by JM Cyrus, read by Aren Devlin

Surreal humour when an overthinking teen finds love in the most unusual place

 

"Karma" by Katie Lewis, read by Alexandra Kenna

Black Mirror meets the dark web in this tense tale of the deadly consequences of voyeurism

 

"Talons & Teeth" by Lizzie Muncey, read by the author 

The collapse and rebirth of a suburban family, as told by their nosy neighbour

 

"Tiny Furies" by E. Ce Miller, read by Martine Richards

Absolute scenes in first-grade after Bree brings in a bento box for lunch

 

 

Fancy coming along on Tuesday 10th September? Book your budget-friendly £5 tickets ASAP if you want the best seats - and don't forget that two-for-one burgers on Tuesday nights are BACK at our venue, the Phoenix, Cavendish Square, W1 - PLUS there will be our usual epic literary quiz with brilliant books by women to win, and free sweets for all!

 

Tuesday 10th September, 7.30pm, tickets £5 (doors open at 6.30pm)

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

 

Tuesday 10th September, 7.30pm, tickets £5 (doors open at 6.30pm)

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

Tuesday 10th September, 7.30pm, tickets £5 (doors open at 6.30pm)

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

Tuesday 10th September, 7.30pm, tickets £5 (doors open at 6.30pm)

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? See below. 

Incident 420 by Charlotte Davis

Read by Jay Hunt & Sarah Barlex - final story in podcast, at 1h23min, link below:
S&L Podcast (right click Open Link in New Tab to enable fast-forwarding)

Report compiled by:       I. C. Allerman & Dr. E. Brown
Date of Report:             11^th June 2331
Date of Incident:           23rd - 24th July 1794
Incident Location:         Georgian London - Ratcliffe
Involved Parties:           Caira Brennen - Level 3 Guide with Solo Certification
                                   Oliver Fenchurch - Client

The following report attempts to establish the events resulting in, though not exclusively, the complete destruction of the Georgian London Clinic, requiring the temporary suspension of all Aristocratic and Commoner trips to that era. Both parties were interviewed separately but we have attempted to construct a comprehensive timeline from the information provided - some questions have been edited for clarity.

Frost Fair by JJ Surtees

Read by Claire Lacey - first story in podcast, link below:
S&L Podcast (right click Open Link in New Tab to enable fast-forwarding)

For the first time in months he’s looking forward to going out to play, because Christmas is over. In December, his friends anticipated the special day, and in January the memory of the festivities was still bright enough to inform each conversation. Nobody who lived in Cheapside was rich, but they’d all had a goose or a duck for the meal and a wooden present. Christmas Day had been acknowledged, and stood signal enough in their lives to furnace the imagination.

In George's house there had only been a void since his mother’s death. It had become a place without care.

Romancing the Cherry by Laura Morgan

Read by Patsy Prince - third story in podcast, at 35:11, link below:
S&L Podcast (right click Open Link in New Tab to enable fast-forwarding)

If you want a peaceful weekend away in the sun, don’t spend it with serious pub quizzers. I was reaching this conclusion before we even got off the plane. Nigel had invited me as a last-minute replacement. I wasn’t much of a quizzer, certainly not in his league, but he knew I had minimal commitments and a flexible schedule (for which read: almost no family, few friends and sporadic-at-best work), so I was a good bet for making up numbers.

On the flight I’d gradually put names to faces. Mary and Deepak, a frowning couple eating egg sandwiches. Steve, a burly northerner talking obsessively about sport.

(“Is sport your specialist subject?”

“You can’t have specialist subjects when you quiz at this level, Annie. You have to be a generalist.”)

Back of the Pack by Paul Lamb

Read by Tony Bell - second story in podcast at 19min 30 secs, link below.
S&L Podcast (right click Open Link in New Tab to enable fast-forwarding)

“If you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go with a friend.”

Andy wasn’t himself every time he connected. In those moments, he was a runner again. He wanted to share with Bill the electric charge he felt each time one of them snatched a water cup from his fingers, but when he looked over, he saw that Bill felt it too. They’d stood for hours on Fourth Avenue in Brooklyn, holding paper cups before them for passing runners to grab. Too excited to be exhausted, too busy to be bushed, too wound up to be wound down.

Latest event: SPORTS & LEISURE, Tuesday 11th June

This summer we celebrate downtime, free time & good times, with five brand new short stories of sports & leisure. We've got county carnivals & frozen fairs; rifle ranges & quiz teams; stoned time-travellers, elephants, bears, & a lifelong friendship measured in marathon miles.

 

Here's the podcast link to listen to the stories, & the YouTube playlist to watch all five in glorious HD! 

 

 

SPORTS & LEISURE - STORIES, AUTHORS & ACTORS

 

"Frost Fair" by JJ Surtees, read by Claire Lacey

"Back of the Pack" by Paul Lamb, read by Tony Bell

"Shooting Gallery" by Abigail Lee, read by Gloria Sanders

"Romancing the Cherry" by Laura Morgan, read by Patsy Prince

"Incident 420" by Charlotte Davis, read by Sarah Barlex & Jay Hunt

 

Book your budget-friendly £5 tickets ASAP if you want the best seats - doors open at 6.30pm in the basement bar of the Phoenix, Cavendish Square, W1 and tickets include our interval literary quiz with brilliant books to win, & free sweets for all!

 

EVENT DETAILS

Tuesday 11th June, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm), tickets £5

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

 

CAST ANNOUNCED:

 

Claire Lacey’s recent theatre work includes Veta Louise Simmons in Harvey at Vienna’s English Theatre. TV credits include Treason, Flatshare, Jerk and The Diplomat; film credits include Kavita & Teresa, County Lines and 5lbs of Pressure. She is also an experienced voice-over artist and has provided the voices on several high-profile video games

 

Evening Standard Award nominee for A Man for All Seasons, Tony Bell has performed all over the world with award-winning all-male Shakespeare company Propeller, playing Bottom, Feste, Autolycus and Tranio. TV includes Coronation Street, Holby City, Midsomer Murders, EastEnders & The Bill. He is also a radio & voiceover artist.

 

Gloria Sanders returns to the cast of Time Will Tell’s Dracula at Whitby Abbey in 2024. She has enjoyed narrating audiobooks for over a decade & has worked as an historical interpreter at heritage sites around the country, training in clowning & historic fooling. She’s a qualified Spanish Interpreter, working with Crowded Room on the co-created documentary La Lucha & produced Deepfakes by Sarah Blake for Cabinets of Curiosity. www.gloriasanders.com

Patsy Prince trained at RADA and KCL. Film includes: God is Dead, The Bad Nun, Mummy Reborn and Culture Shock. Theatre includes Misfits at the Space Theatre (nominated at The Asian Media Awards) Voices from September 11th (Old Vic) and Swallows (OFS Theatre Oxford). She also co-hosted 'Open', a podcast on The Women's Radio Station. An ex-lawyer, ex-parliamentary candidate and ex-hotelier, Patsy is now excelling at being a bad wife, drinking too much gin and expanding her collection of millinery.

 

Sarah Barlex is 21 years old and lives with her family in South West London. After studying filmmaking at New York Film Academy, Sarah now works as a social media manager alongside making her own short films on barlexfilms.co.uk. Her new film Waitress is out this month, and is based on her own experiences as a server with a horror twist, not that waitressing in South London needs the added horror.

 

 

Having studied under various acting specialists, Jay Hunt has a passion for stand-up comedy, stage combat and Shakespeare. Raised in Stratford-upon-Avon, Jay has been involved with multiple collaborations with the RSC from a young age. 

 

 

EVENT DETAILS

Tuesday 11th June, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm), tickets £5

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

 

CAST ANNOUNCED:

 

Claire Lacey’s recent theatre work includes Veta Louise Simmons in Harvey at Vienna’s English Theatre. TV credits include Treason, Flatshare, Jerk and The Diplomat; film credits include Kavita & Teresa, County Lines and 5lbs of Pressure. She is also an experienced voice-over artist and has provided the voices on several high-profile video games

 

Evening Standard Award nominee for A Man for All Seasons, Tony Bell has performed all over the world with award-winning all-male Shakespeare company Propeller, playing Bottom, Feste, Autolycus and Tranio. TV includes Coronation Street, Holby City, Midsomer Murders, EastEnders & The Bill. He is also a radio & voiceover artist.

 

Gloria Sanders returns to the cast of Time Will Tell’s Dracula at Whitby Abbey in 2024. She has enjoyed narrating audiobooks for over a decade & has worked as an historical interpreter at heritage sites around the country, training in clowning & historic fooling. She’s a qualified Spanish Interpreter, working with Crowded Room on the co-created documentary La Lucha & produced Deepfakes by Sarah Blake for Cabinets of Curiosity. www.gloriasanders.com

Patsy Prince trained at RADA and KCL. Film includes: God is Dead, The Bad Nun, Mummy Reborn and Culture Shock. Theatre includes Misfits at the Space Theatre (nominated at The Asian Media Awards) Voices from September 11th (Old Vic) and Swallows (OFS Theatre Oxford). She also co-hosted 'Open', a podcast on The Women's Radio Station. An ex-lawyer, ex-parliamentary candidate and ex-hotelier, Patsy is now excelling at being a bad wife, drinking too much gin and expanding her collection of millinery.

 

Sarah Barlex is 21 years old and lives with her family in South West London. After studying filmmaking at New York Film Academy, Sarah now works as a social media manager alongside making her own short films on barlexfilms.co.uk. Her new film Waitress is out this month, and is based on her own experiences as a server with a horror twist, not that waitressing in South London needs the added horror.

 

 

Having studied under various acting specialists, Jay Hunt has a passion for stand-up comedy, stage combat and Shakespeare. Raised in Stratford-upon-Avon, Jay has been involved with multiple collaborations with the RSC from a young age. 

 

 

EVENT DETAILS

Tuesday 11th June, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm), tickets £5

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

 

CAST ANNOUNCED:

 

Claire Lacey’s recent theatre work includes Veta Louise Simmons in Harvey at Vienna’s English Theatre. TV credits include Treason, Flatshare, Jerk and The Diplomat; film credits include Kavita & Teresa, County Lines and 5lbs of Pressure. She is also an experienced voice-over artist and has provided the voices on several high-profile video games

 

Evening Standard Award nominee for A Man for All Seasons, Tony Bell has performed all over the world with award-winning all-male Shakespeare company Propeller, playing Bottom, Feste, Autolycus and Tranio. TV includes Coronation Street, Holby City, Midsomer Murders, EastEnders & The Bill. He is also a radio & voiceover artist.

 

Gloria Sanders returns to the cast of Time Will Tell’s Dracula at Whitby Abbey in 2024. She has enjoyed narrating audiobooks for over a decade & has worked as an historical interpreter at heritage sites around the country, training in clowning & historic fooling. She’s a qualified Spanish Interpreter, working with Crowded Room on the co-created documentary La Lucha & produced Deepfakes by Sarah Blake for Cabinets of Curiosity. www.gloriasanders.com

Patsy Prince trained at RADA and KCL. Film includes: God is Dead, The Bad Nun, Mummy Reborn and Culture Shock. Theatre includes Misfits at the Space Theatre (nominated at The Asian Media Awards) Voices from September 11th (Old Vic) and Swallows (OFS Theatre Oxford). She also co-hosted 'Open', a podcast on The Women's Radio Station. An ex-lawyer, ex-parliamentary candidate and ex-hotelier, Patsy is now excelling at being a bad wife, drinking too much gin and expanding her collection of millinery.

 

Sarah Barlex is 21 years old and lives with her family in South West London. After studying filmmaking at New York Film Academy, Sarah now works as a social media manager alongside making her own short films on barlexfilms.co.uk. Her new film Waitress is out this month, and is based on her own experiences as a server with a horror twist, not that waitressing in South London needs the added horror.

 

 

Having studied under various acting specialists, Jay Hunt has a passion for stand-up comedy, stage combat and Shakespeare. Raised in Stratford-upon-Avon, Jay has been involved with multiple collaborations with the RSC from a young age. 

 

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

 

CAST ANNOUNCED:

 

Claire Lacey’s recent theatre work includes Veta Louise Simmons in Harvey at Vienna’s English Theatre. TV credits include Treason, Flatshare, Jerk and The Diplomat; film credits include Kavita & Teresa, County Lines and 5lbs of Pressure. She is also an experienced voice-over artist and has provided the voices on several high-profile video games

 

Evening Standard Award nominee for A Man for All Seasons, Tony Bell has performed all over the world with award-winning all-male Shakespeare company Propeller, playing Bottom, Feste, Autolycus and Tranio. TV includes Coronation Street, Holby City, Midsomer Murders, EastEnders & The Bill. He is also a radio & voiceover artist.

 

Gloria Sanders returns to the cast of Time Will Tell’s Dracula at Whitby Abbey in 2024. She has enjoyed narrating audiobooks for over a decade & has worked as an historical interpreter at heritage sites around the country, training in clowning & historic fooling. She’s a qualified Spanish Interpreter, working with Crowded Room on the co-created documentary La Lucha & produced Deepfakes by Sarah Blake for Cabinets of Curiosity. www.gloriasanders.com

Patsy Prince trained at RADA and KCL. Film includes: God is Dead, The Bad Nun, Mummy Reborn and Culture Shock. Theatre includes Misfits at the Space Theatre (nominated at The Asian Media Awards) Voices from September 11th (Old Vic) and Swallows (OFS Theatre Oxford). She also co-hosted 'Open', a podcast on The Women's Radio Station. An ex-lawyer, ex-parliamentary candidate and ex-hotelier, Patsy is now excelling at being a bad wife, drinking too much gin and expanding her collection of millinery.

 

Sarah Barlex is 21 years old and lives with her family in South West London. After studying filmmaking at New York Film Academy, Sarah now works as a social media manager alongside making her own short films on barlexfilms.co.uk. Her new film Waitress is out this month, and is based on her own experiences as a server with a horror twist, not that waitressing in South London needs the added horror.

 

 

Having studied under various acting specialists, Jay Hunt has a passion for stand-up comedy, stage combat and Shakespeare. Raised in Stratford-upon-Avon, Jay has been involved with multiple collaborations with the RSC from a young age. 

 

Corner of her Eye by Caroline von Schmalensee

Read by Gloria Sanders (first story in podcast, here)

Sarah first noticed the specks on a bright spring morning. The city shimmered in pale light and she saw tiny somethings on the periphery of her vision. They disappeared when she turned her head to look. Sarah interpreted the movement as cherry blossom petals in the wind: ephemeral shapes that disappeared when she tried to focus on them.

As spring turned into summer, Sarah saw more specks and spots. They couldn’t be petals now the cherry blossoms were gone, but they were certainly something.

I fell in love with my documentary crew by David McGrath

Story read by David McGrath (final story in podcast, at 1h 27 min, here)

I once manned the helpline for tourists disenchanted by Paris not being the Paris they expected.
    My documentary crew says that’s so interesting.
    Better than working for Facebook.
    What did you do for Facebook?
    I screened reported photographs. Before the software could do it.
    You must’ve seen a lot of dick pics.
    The dick pics I could handle. It was the war photographs that gave everyone in the office nervous breakdowns. The in-house therapist told us that everything was going to be OK. That’s how I got the experience for the helpline.
    My documentary crew is fascinated. You’re an interesting guy. We don’t want some run-of-the-mill, kitchen-sink documentary. We want sensational. Like you.

    My documentary crew and I move in together.

We're All Here to Save the World

Read by Magnus Rook (second story in podcast, at 17 min 45, here)

The alarm was bleeping. Glenn stretched out a hand to silence it, his sleep-fogged brain registering too late the confines of his space. And so, once again, his day began with him inadvertently punching the wall next to his bed. Sometimes he really did wonder what the Save The World Programme’s recruitment team had seen in him.

The sun was pushing through the blind onto his cheek, its warmth strong but not yet unpleasant. Lying in its glow, his chest bare above the thin sheet, he felt a rare flicker of anticipation. Then his mind caught up: it was his birthday. Or more accurately, his Programme Birthday: the anniversary of his arrival at this tiny five-by-five-metre pod in the desert.

The Lord is Mike Shephard by Jonathan Sellars

Read by Tony Bell (third story in podcast, at 36 minutes 30 sec, here)

When Mike Shephard burst in on the congregation of St Mary’s one wintry Sunday morning his announcement was met by six gasps and a groan. Five of the gasps belonged to Kathy Dudlingham. The groan came from the vicar.

“Sorry to interrupt, Reverend Herold,” Mike said in his thick west-country accent. “It is Reverend Herold, isn’t it?”

Kathy Dudlingham turned to him furiously. “You know full well it’s Harold. Just like that murderous bastard Harold Shipman. That’s right isn’t it, Reverend?” she smiled.

Colours with No Name by Elizabeth Hopkinson

Read by Tim Larkfield (fourth story in podcast, at 52 minutes, here)

He doesn't know what to do with her spectacles. Every time he enters the room, they stare at him from the work table. Unseeing. Incomplete. The thin wire frames, the round lenses gathering dust along with her embroidery silks and scissors. They watch blindly as he spins the carousel of little bobbins, like a child with a zoetrope, watching crimson merge into scarlet merge into robin's breast orange. So many colours. She saw the world in colours for which he has no name.

Every Damned Thing by David Turnbull

Read by Ray Newe (fifth story in podcast, at 1h 9 minutes, here)

‘Would you give it a rest? All your moaning is doing my head in.’

That was Khalid the Cabbie, a vaguely sketched proposal for the lead character of a 1980s sitcom. Like all of us he was an idea that never made it further than the initial stage of being dreamed up. In my opinion my moaning was justified. I had a right to moan.

I should never have been here in the first place. Unlike Khalid, I'd been a genuine contender. I could easily have had my own graphic novel series, maybe even a movie franchise. They’d given me a fully plotted back story.

LATEST EVENT: Dreams & Reality, Tuesday 2nd April

Next submission deadline: SUNDAY 5th MAY    Theme: SPORTS & LEISURE (click for info)

From lottery-predicting angels to terraforming experiments & documentary disasters to Victorian widowers, via peripheral visions and "the graveyard of unfulfilled dreams", there's a dreamy selection of fantastic, phantasmagoric fiction for you to enjoy at our post-Easter event DREAMS & REALITY, downstairs at our usual venue of The Phoenix (37 Cavendish Square, just off Oxford Street, W1G 0PP). The show starts at 7.30pm (doors at 6.30pm) on Tuesday 2nd April, and as ever, tickets are just £5! 

 

WINNING STORIES for DREAMS & REALITY

 

"Colours with No Name" by Elizabeth Hopkinson, read by Tim Larkfield

"Corner of her Eye" by Caroline von Schmalensee, read by Gloria Sanders

"Every Damned Thing" by David Turnbull, read by Ray Newe

"I fell in love with my documentary crew" by David McGrath, read by the author

"The Lord is Mike Shepherd" by Jonathan Sellars, read by Tony Bell

"We’re all here to save the world" by Sarah Richardson, read by Magnus Rook

 

Fancy coming along? Book your budget-friendly £5 tickets ASAP if you want the best seats - & don't forget that our venue, the Phoenix, Cavendish Square, W1 also does two-for-one burgers on Tuesday nights, which is nice - PLUS there will be our usual epic literary quiz with brilliant books to win, & free sweets for all!

 

DREAMS & REALITY

Tuesday 2nd April, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm), tickets £5

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

DREAMS & REALITY

Tuesday 2nd April, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm), tickets £5

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

DREAMS & REALITY

Tuesday 2nd April, 7.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm), tickets £5

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

The Phoenix basement bar
37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0PP

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

 

N.B. We DO now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth booking a ticket in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email us on [email protected]

Somebody by Lanay Griessner

Read by Lucy Mabbitt, full podcast here. 

I worked at The Lost Sock for six months before I started stealing from the Lost and Found. It was a pragmatic decision. I had no more space in the box and there was a new pleather vest to add to the pile. I could have gotten a second box, or a bigger box, but that just would have delayed the inevitable. No one came back to collect anything. Ever. Maybe leaving something at a laundromat was another way of throwing it out, like sneaking it in someone else's garbage can because yours was full. 

But the stuff wasn't garbage. There was a flip phone, a cashmere sweater, sequinned leggings, a gold wedding ring, a camouflage fanny pack, a magic 8 ball, a smorgasbord of foreign coins that were almost the same size as quarters but were not actually quarters, a peace sign crop top, a sari wrap, flannel pyjamas, a Snuggie, and a pink vibrator. 

The Sea Captain & the Mad Doctor by Lianne Warr

Read by Tony Bell - full podcast here. 

Casebook of Dr Edward Phillips, 29^th December 1826

Captain James Althorpe was conveyed to Liverpool Lunatic Asylum directly from his ship by seven police constables this evening (they told me “e’s a slippery bugger that one, slid right between our fingers, e’did!”). Prior to the arrival of The Fortitude at Royal Albert Dock, word had been sent ahead by his crew:

“Captain in a state of frenzy, of a mind all consumed by sea witches and mer-people. In ecstasy he beats his chest, dipping himself sea-ward singing: My soul is wind, my heart is sea, I’ll go hollering howling free, Water-lung and whale-tongued I, Come on lads, let’s liquefy!