Liars' League

NEXT EVENT: Risk & Reward on Tuesday 8th April at The Phoenix

6.30pm (doors) for 7.30pm (show) at The Phoenix, 37 Cavendish Square W1G 0PP

 

Tickets £5: book here

 

This April we invite you to take a chance, place your bets, & reap the reward of hearing five new risk-taking tales from our winning authors, featuring fugitive lovers, train heists, theft on the Riviera (1920s-style), London burnout & competitive Lego - PLUS an exclusive flash fiction from host Liam Hogan to celebrate the publication of his new story collection, A Short History of the Future!

 

WINNING STORIES FOR RISK & REWARD

 

"Pearl Onions" by Alex Edwards new author - read by Dan Starkey

"Pilgrim's Trail" by Cecilia Maddison new author - read by Rose Biggin

"Certitude" by Scott Tierney - read by Silas Hawkins 

"Everybody Wants London" by Alix Owen - read by Ray Newe

"Brick by Brick" by MJ Lee - read by Nathan Unthank

 

PLUS

"A Game of Musical Souls" by Liam Hogan - read by Tony Bell

(Longlisted in Writers' & Artists' Short Story Competition 2025)

 

Fancy coming along? Book now for the Phoenix, Cavendish Square, W1 - there will be our usual epic literary quiz with brilliant books to win, and free Easter eggs for all!

 

N.B. We do now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth buying your tickets in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email [email protected] 

 

RISK & REWARD

Stories of heists, fugitives, thieves, lovers & low-lifes

is on TUESDAY 8th APRIL

Tickets £5: 6.30pm doors, 7.30pm show

 

Downstairs at The Phoenix

37 Cavendish Square, London W1G 0PP 

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

Twitter / YouTube / Facebook / Podcast

 

Liars' League

www.liarsleague.com

Writers write. Actors read. Audience listens. Everybody wins.

 

 

HEY WRITER! WHY NOT SUBMIT TO OUR OTHER 2025 THEMES?

Fire up the laptop, crack out the notebook, scroll through your 3am story ideas & submit, because ALL our 2025 themes are open RIGHT NOW! From Down & Out to Haunted & Hunted, check them out below:

6.30pm (doors) for 7.30pm (show) at The Phoenix, 37 Cavendish Square W1G 0PP

 

Tickets £5: book here

 

This April we invite you to take a chance, place your bets, & reap the reward of hearing five new risk-taking tales from our winning authors, featuring fugitive lovers, train heists, theft on the Riviera (1920s-style), London burnout & competitive Lego - PLUS an exclusive flash fiction from host Liam Hogan to celebrate the publication of his new story collection, A Short History of the Future!

 

WINNING STORIES FOR RISK & REWARD

 

"Pearl Onions" by Alex Edwards new author - read by Dan Starkey

"Pilgrim's Trail" by Cecilia Maddison new author - read by Rose Biggin

"Certitude" by Scott Tierney - read by Silas Hawkins 

"Everybody Wants London" by Alix Owen - read by Ray Newe

"Brick by Brick" by MJ Lee - read by Nathan Unthank

 

PLUS

"A Game of Musical Souls" by Liam Hogan - read by Tony Bell

(Longlisted in Writers' & Artists' Short Story Competition 2025)

 

Fancy coming along? Book now for the Phoenix, Cavendish Square, W1 - there will be our usual epic literary quiz with brilliant books to win, and free Easter eggs for all!

 

N.B. We do now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth buying your tickets in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email [email protected] 

 

RISK & REWARD

Stories of heists, fugitives, thieves, lovers & low-lifes

is on TUESDAY 8th APRIL

Tickets £5: 6.30pm doors, 7.30pm show

 

Downstairs at The Phoenix

37 Cavendish Square, London W1G 0PP 

(nearest tube Oxford Circus)

Twitter / YouTube / Facebook / Podcast

 

Liars' League

www.liarsleague.com

Writers write. Actors read. Audience listens. Everybody wins.

 

 

HEY WRITER! WHY NOT SUBMIT TO OUR OTHER 2025 THEMES?

Fire up the laptop, crack out the notebook, scroll through your 3am story ideas & submit, because ALL our 2025 themes are open RIGHT NOW! From Down & Out to Haunted & Hunted, check them out below:

 

N.B. We do now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth buying your tickets in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email [email protected] 

 

 

N.B. We do now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth buying your tickets in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email [email protected] 

 

 

N.B. We do now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth buying your tickets in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email [email protected] 

 

 

N.B. We do now accept card payments on the door, but it's well worth buying your tickets in advance to ensure you get a table - just click here. Any questions? Email [email protected] 

 

By Appointment by Lauren Van Schaik

Read by Lizzie Muncey

Daphne slammed “dial” the millisecond her clock flipped to 8am, and counted breaths as the call connected and the familiar robotic voice was patched in: “You’ve reached the Broad Street Surgery. Good luck!”

She couldn’t slow her speeding heart, imagining the thousands of other aspiring patients listening to the same menu. Mothers with spotted children, elderly folk who’d fallen and couldn’t get up, people anxiously rubbing suspicious lumps. Did she deserve an appointment more than them? She added tachycardia and poor self-esteem to the list of symptoms she maintained on her laptop. Yes, she fucking did deserve it.

 

A Covert Affair by Bronia Flett

Read by David Vickery

The house nestles on the cliff-side, tucked between ocean and pine forest. John stands on the doorstep, hands in pockets, watching the black shape crossing the sand far below. The shape moves closer, takes the form of a man.

For the first time in years, John craves a cigarette – if only to stop his teeth from chattering. The sun climbs in the sky but the sweat of exertion is cooling rapidly on John’s skin. He is too old. He shouldn’t have volunteered. He remembers the look that passed between his superiors, but in the end they’d all agreed.

It was John’s job to finish it.

He Brings Me Birds by Cheryl Powell

Read by Grace Cookey-Gam

My lover used to bring me birds. He caught them with his quick claws, pouncing and ripping off their heads with his sharp, feline teeth, their feathery bodies bleeding into the carpet. I felt triumphant, a queen. He just wanted to please me.

‘I love you,’ he purred and brushed against my legs, his fur soft as syrup. I looked at him then, lustfully, at his whiskers and claws, at the gliding machinery of his hips and spine, his innate desire to kill. I desired him as animal, and man. Both, at once.

 

We Have Nothing to Hide by Jennifer Gaboury

Read by Clareine Cronin

Hair of the dog, from a covert flask. Forty-seven minutes past the hour. The oven will ping merrily at any moment. He’ll stroll through the door beaming, stow his briefcase, peck my cheek, regale me with benign office gossip. I’ll reciprocate with a recitation of my day, which is every day.

And the G.O.D. will be pleased. And SIA will hibernate to conserve battery.

“Honey — ” Showtime. “I’m home!”

 

Gorgeous by Al Crow

Read by Patsy Prince

The first time I had sex in a bookshop was chance. I was downstairs with my boyfriend-at-the-time. He, Marcus, was into music memoirs. Tales of high-jinx and substance-abuse. The sort of thing this place kept in the basement. Anything that had been scrawled out on top of a guitar case by a real rocker. Not Moby, if you get me. Not Fat Boy Slim. This was the early 2000s, and like his heroes, Marcus thought himself a player. He was a fair bit older than my not-so-innocent twenty-five and he wore a leather jacket perpetually. In many ways, I was the product of my all-girl upbringing and that meant I was game. That’s what Marcus saw in me. A young woman with a manageable element of damage blended with a compulsion to rebel.

24 Ways to Leave your Lover by Andreas Paraskevaides

Read by Carrie Cohen

ONE Locate a dictionary. Open the dictionary. Flip the pages to the word “leave”. Follow instructions carefully.

TWO Enter a room and sit comfortably. Raise your hands in front of your face, palms up facing inwards. Cover both eyes fully. No peeking. When you hear your lover enter the room, maintain this posture and refrain from replying to your lover’s queries. You may sing a lullaby to yourself, provided you are familiar with one. If no lullaby comes to mind, you may sing the looping lyrics of your current earworm. In the unlikely scenario that no earworm is available, hum tirelessly and tunelessly. When your lover leaves the room, you have left your lover.

NEXT EVENT: Desire & Despair Valentine's Stories, Tue 11th Feb

 

Sorry folks - we are now technically SOLD OUT of seats for the show tonight!

 

However, if you're still keen to come along, there may be some standing room/extra fold-out chair tickets available on the door - but no more tables, apologies!

 

 

 

6.30pm (doors) for 7.30pm (show) at The Phoenix, 37 Cavendish Square W1G 0PP

 

Tickets £5: book here

 

The rollercoaster of love (& lust) takes you from the highest heights to the lowest depths, & there's a million stories along the way ... so in the run-up to Valentine's Day, we're bringing six of the best to the Phoenix basement stage, where they'll be performed by our fantastic actors.

 

Winning stories are announced below & feature medical dating, sexual surveillance, spies in (forbidden) love, banging in bookshops, tomcatting around & 24 ways to leave your lover. Heart's desire or hearts on fire, we'll see you there!

 

WINNING STORIES for DESIRE & DESPAIR

"Gorgeous" by Al Crow, read by Patsy Prince

"A Covert Affair" by Bronia Flett, read by David Vickery

"By Appointment" by Lauren Van Schaik, read by Lizzie Muncey

"He Brings me Birds" by Cheryl Powell, read by Grace Cookey-Gam

"We Have Nothing to Hide" by Jennifer Gaboury, read by Clareine Cronin

"24 Ways to Leave your Lover" by Andreas Paraskevaides, read by Carrie Cohen

 

DESIRE & DESPAIR

Stories of love, lust & low blows

is on TUESDAY 11th FEBRUARY

Tickets £5: 6.30pm doors, 7.30pm show

Downstairs at The Phoenix

37 Cavendish Square, London W1G 0PP 

Twitter / YouTube / Facebook / Podcast

 

Liars' League

www.liarsleague.com

Writers write. Actors read. Audience listens. Everybody wins.

 

 

OTHER 2025 THEMES

Fire up the laptop, crack out the notebook, scroll through your 3am story ideas & submit, because ALL our 2025 themes are open RIGHT NOW! From Risk & Reward to Haunted & Hunted, check them out below:

Stories of the Year: 2024, MVPs & HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Farewell, 2024 - it's been epic!

We read through hundreds of submissions, performed 34 of the best stories at six sensational events & gave out five(!) Most Valuable Player Awards - to actors Tony Bell & Gloria Sanders, & authors Lianne Warr, Charlotte Davis & Kathryn Sharpe (we're keeping your priceless prize mug safe for you, Kathryn ...) 

And now (drumroll please) the Liars have put their heads together to choose our Stories of the Year for 2024. These were the six stories that struck, surprised, shook & stayed with us, plus four more which made our Top Ten, & they are:

LIARS' LEAGUE'S BEST STORIES OF THE YEAR 2024*

"Thrill" by Georgina Sims, read by Gloria Sanders (Mix & Match, February)  

"I Fell in Love with my Documentary Crew" by David McGrath, read by the author (Dreams & Reality, April)

"We're All Here to Save the World" by Sarah Richardson, read by Magnus Rook (Dreams & Reality, April)

"Talons & Teeth" by Lizzie Muncey, read by the author (Women & Girls, September)

"Tiny Furies" by E. Ce Miller, read by Martine Richards (Women & Girls, September)

"Family Recipes" by Lisa Farrell, read by Gloria Sanders (Bell, Book & Candle, October)

Honourable Mentions

"Silver Lining" by Ricardo Visinho, read by Paul Clarke (Mix & Match, February)

"A Doll's Head in Hackney" by Kathryn Sharpe, read by Miranda Harrison (Women & Girls, September)

"Two Down" by Hannah Noyce, read by Kim Scopes (Bell, Book & Candle, October)

"Bag of Bones" by Angelita Lapuz Bradney, read by Margaret Ashley (Bell, Book & Candle, October)

Congratulations to all the authors, & the actors who so brilliantly brought their stories to life. Here's to more in 2025!

*listed in chronological order

Humbug by Ian Aikman

Read by Magnus Rook

My name is Tiny Tim and I hate Christmas. Now I know what you’re thinking: not so tiny any more! But, if you ask me, that nickname was always unfair. It started when I was eight years old — who isn’t tiny at that age?

It was my Uncle Scrooge who first called me that. He’s not my uncle, he’s my dad’s boss. And after eight years of not paying us enough to afford food, he rocked up on Christmas Day 1843 with the biggest turkey I’ve ever seen. That was a weird Christmas. Surely your dad’s boss is the last person you want to see curled up by the fire singing ‘Little Drummer Boy’.

Uncle Lewis by David Mathews

Read by Gloria Sanders

Dylan Thomas said, ‘There were always Uncles at Christmas. The same Uncles.’

‘Davy won’t want it green again, Cerys,’ says my Mam. ‘Yellow? You liked it when it was yellow, yes?'

‘And Uncle Lewis’s favourite,’ I say, all jolly. But Mam looks away quick, and I wish I’d shut up.

My Uncle Davy cooks. I don’t mean at home, where he does it all, Uncle Cledwyn being handless in the kitchen. I mean on Boxing Day at our place, where he mixes and bakes, marinades and roasts every mouthful we and my uncles eat. It is awesome. Mam and I scrub the kitchen spotless for him, and every few years we paint it.

Snowy by Jonathan Weil

Read by David Mildon

‘Snowy.’

The voice was right in his ear, snapping him out of the grey half-dreaming zone that he’d drifted into while walking. Her voice. It could have been a comment on the conditions – the snow, the moonlight, the country road flat white – but he knew better. She hadn’t called him Snowy in ages. The sound of it brought back a memory, years ago, curled up in her single bed in the Catford flat, she stroking his hair, Snowy … Snowy … Snoooowwwyyyy … softly, over and over. And then that little laugh she used to do: soft and private, barely exiting her body, sweet with tenderness and regret …

The Wreath Thief by Amy Eddings

Read by Tony Bell

It is December, the death-rattle of the year, and the weather grim and wild, as two bone-chilled travellers stumble into a lonely village tavern in search of rest, ale, and cheer. The Holly Inn is warm and dry, but also ancient and near-empty; a solitary old man mutters to himself beside the great open hearth. One traveller remarks quietly to the other that this would be a splendid place to set a ghost-story ...

Some Apology by Lianne Warr

Read by Paul Clarke

Look. I’ve had some time to think. And what it is … what it is, is that I don’t feel good about what I did, all right? I know it’s probably not enough, not now, not after all these years and everything that happened. Yet I have to say it, or I’ll never rest. I don’t think this is how an apology should be going, to be honest with you. It should be about you, shouldn’t it? Not about me unburdening myself. But isn’t that the point of apologies? To feel less rotten about oneself? Pretty selfish, come to think of it! How am I to know what this will do for you? It might make things worse, for all I know.

The Summoning Bell by Rebecca Miles

Read by Lin Sagovsky

The Cutter’s Inn, County of Bristol, 1844

Winter trees reach with long dark fingers into an unresponsive sky as the figure strikes a match, bringing the hungry flame to the paper’s edge. Clouds mask the moon as they did a year ago, and no reflection in the inky waters mirrors the man’s face, shaggy brows knitted in concentration. The canal carves its quiet way through the night, secrets flowing through each of the 105 locks linking this backwater to the smog and skulduggery of London. Despite the December drizzle, the paper catches, words scorched in a tongue of flame.

 

CHRISTMAS EVENT: Wreaths & Wraiths, Tue 10 Dec at De Hems, Soho

🎄The winning stories for our final show of the year, WREATHS & WRAITHS 👻 on Tuesday 10th December were a seasonal selection box of six by turns spine-chilling and heart-warming, featuring remorseful ghosts, Victorian railways, haunted wreaths, nine Welsh Uncles, backwoods honeymoon horror & a grown-up (& very pissed-off) Tiny Tim ... Tickets were just £5 (here) & included mince pies & a festive book quiz!

WINNING STORIES for WREATHS & WRAITHS

"The Summoning Bell" by Rebecca Miles NEW AUTHOR - read by Lin Sagovsky

"Uncle Lewis" by David Mathews NEW AUTHOR - read by Gloria Sanders

"Humbug" by Ian Aikman NEW AUTHOR - read by Magnus Rook

"Snowy" by Jonathan Weil NEW AUTHOR - read by David Mildon

"The Wreath Thief" by Amy Eddings - read by Tony Bell

"Some Apology" by Lianne Warr - read by Paul Clarke

 

And if those aren't enough, all the stories from our Halloween special Bell Book & Candle are also online: just click to read the stories, watch the videos or listen to the podcast.

 

WREATHS & WRAITHS Christmas Stories

is on TUESDAY 10th DECEMBER

Tickets £5: 6.30pm doors, 7.30pm show

Upstairs at De Hems Dutch Cafe/Bar

11 Macclesfield Street, Soho, London W1D 5DW

 

Liars' League

www.liarsleague.com

Writers write. Actors read. Audience listens. Everybody wins.

Twitter / YouTube / Facebook / Podcast

Nipped by Joshua James Jordan

Read by David Mildon (final story in podcast, at 1h 27m 40s)

Life #1

My mother chased after some alleycat purring like a little slut. She abandoned me in a parking lot. I walked around mewing like the little idiot I was. A Humvee rolled in & over me. That's when I learned what I looked like inside-out.

Ghost

In the Old Lady's living room, I pawed at the little plastic ball filled with my catnip. The nip inside had dried into crisp, shrivelled, brown leaves. Probably not even a split second of a high in there. I swatted at the ball again, and it rolled a few inches. The leather couch was covered in scratches. It's not my fault the Old Lady never got me a scratching post. I had needs.

Two Down by Hannah Noyce

Read by Kim Scopes (4th story in podcast, at 1h 0m 55s)

She smiled to herself as she descended two flights of stairs to the basement bar. He had been mysterious about the location of their date, insisting on giving her only an address. In spite of herself, she had resisted the urge to Google. Now she saw why. They had bonded over their shared love of cryptic crosswords, and he had chosen a place called “Two Down”.

She was careful to hide a pang of disappointment when she saw him – his crooked smile was a little less endearing in person – but he stared intently at her, and she felt a flutter at the thought of his excitement. She looked good tonight.

Little Man by Rhys Timson

Read by Tony Bell (3rd story in podcast, at 32m 40s)

The confession of the great alchemist Hieronymus Trithemius includes the admission of many heinous and horrifying acts: dissection of corpses, conversing with demons, and folding down the page-corners of borrowed books. But the transgression that most interested my master and myself was the creation of artificial life, or homunculi, in the alchemical laboratory, a sin most grievous against the design of the Almighty.

Trithemius’s confession, alas, provides only tantalising hints as to his process for the creation of homunculi, but during the lengthy passages he dedicates to the sin of self-abuse, he reveals the key ingredient man must supply. Though not, sadly, the volume.

Family Recipes by Lisa Farrell

Read by Gloria Sanders (2nd story in podcast, at 17m 30s)

It started out as a game. My sister had found a purplish flower hidden in a tangle of weeds, and we both recognised it from the illustration in one of Mother’s old books. She didn’t say anything, just held the greenery at bay and eyed it greedily as though she wanted to taste it herself. She knew it was wolfsbane, same as I did. A purple death, potentially. Always was her favourite colour, though it suited us both, or so Mother used to say.

While my sister harvested her find, I hunted further, hacking away the strangling vines until I found a treasure of my own. Spotted stems that I disturbed, and then a scattering of tiny seeds, each strong enough to kill a man. I wasn’t keen on sharing, and we fought there among the overgrown greenery, scratching and biting like we were kids again, rolling over berries that stained our shirts red.

Bag of Bones by Angelita Lapuz Bradney

Read by Margaret Ashley (1st story in podcast, at 5m 30s)

The next-door neighbour is punching her husband in the garden. High-pitched grunts dart through the window like punctuation marks. He’s got pads strapped to his hands. Now and then he shows her how she should move her feet, push from the shoulder, swivel her waist. They wear t-shirts in the same faded blue. After a while they swap over. Now she’s holding the pads and he’s hitting her. When he makes contact her arm moves back, as if on a spring. Jab jab jab.

It’s been six months since they moved in. They still have that newlywed smugness about them. Reality hasn’t yet sunk in, with familiarity breeding contempt and resentment spreading like a bed of nettles.