The Butchers were an ugly couple. Although Henry Butcher was a senior civil servant with a chartered accountant wife, to Madeleine the stench of abattoirs surrounded them. Janice Butcher's enormous mouth was forever open. The more she talked the wider the cavern gaped, displaying strong canines that chewed every syllable as if it were rancid gristle. Even when she was silent her teeth protruded beyond her scarlet lips and her tongue darted between her cheeks as though foraging for further fleshy morsels. Both Butchers had thick podgy fingers reminiscent of flabby, flattened pork sausages.
I hate this country, you know. When I think of all the places I could be. Sure, Palestine ain’t so nice at the moment, but Barcelona, perhaps? Genoa? Even fucking Moscow would do, frankly. Well, maybe not Moscow. I like a bit of warmth, after all. But you get my drift. England is not where I want to be right now.
Sometimes, just for devilment, God allows someone, someone wholly unworthy, a lucky day.
God’s rules are that it runs for precisely 24 hours, and at local time. It starts with the first second of the day and ends on the first stroke of midnight. You have to find out for yourself that its happening and the longer you stay in bed, the more hours of luck you waste. That’s all part of God’s joke, which he thinks is a good one.
You clench your fists so tightly that your fingernails bruise the soft centre of your palms as you shout AMEN!
“Yes, with God all things are possible,” the immaculately dressed man on the podium says. “But watch out: The devil is a liar. He will seek to sow doubts in your mind and rob you of your deliverance. Resist him! Just believe and receive your healing: Cancer, I cast you out! Barrenness, I banish you! Deafness, I decimate you! HIV, I unhinge you...”
Longtime contributors Niall Boyce, Jonathan Pinnock & Richard Smyth all have books out which you'd be well advised to buy, then read, then buy for others. All genres are catered for, from novels (Niall's Veronica Britton) and short stories (Jonathan's Dot Dash) to nonfiction (Richard's Bumfodder)
KATY LIAR'S DEBUT NOVEL
Liar Katy Darby's debut novel, a Victorian drama called The Unpierced Heart (previously titled The Whores' Asylum) is now out in Penguin paperback. It's had nice reviews in The Independent on Sunday, Sunday Times & Metro (4*).
OUR INTERVIEW WITH ANNEXE MAG!
They came, they saw, they asked us a bunch of interesting questions. Interview by Nick of Annexe Magazine with Katy of LL: here
