Liars' League

Feast & Famine

Feast your ears and eyes on fictions involving a post-apocalyptic looter, suggestive cigars, sex-starved film-buff flaneurs, an all-or-nothing lover, and the ultimate global consumer.

And if you weren't there, our podcasts are sitting there waiting for you. A perfect antidote to the tedium of the tube, a long-haul to Laos or queueing at Queens Park Rangers. And what's more, by copying the following link into iTunes you will receive future Liars' League podcasts without lifting a finger, breaking sweat, let alone pumping so much as an iota of adrenaline.

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Hecho a mano by Brindley Hallam Dennis

Hecho a mano

Read by Susannah Holland

The two most popular cigar sizes are Churchill and Panatella. Churchills are long and fat. Panatellas are long and thin. If we’re talking about cigars you can say we’re dealing with length and girth. Length is measured in inches. Tell someone you’re offering them two hundred and thirty millimetres and they’re not sure whether to laugh or cry. Tell them you’ve got nine inches, and tears will fill their eyes. They’ll smile too. Girth is measured by ring gauge, calibrated in one sixty fourths of an inch. That’s what it’s all about. Let’s get down to basics. Girth gives you intensity of experience. Length gives you duration.

If we’re talking about Henry, it’s not quite so simple.

This is why we walk by Richard Koworld

Read by Stephen Butterton

There is a theory that says you can’t really feel until you have had your heart broken into little pieces. I wish that wasn’t true. Life would be a whole shit-load easier if we could just live it simple. Get born, grow-up happy, have a few spots at 13, get over that fast, have a first beer, enjoy it not puke it, meet a girl, awkwardly fumble your way into her affections, fall easily in love, live happy, have kids, work your job and be financially secure, get promoted, maybe to manager, but not too much responsibility, live just right, have a house in Guildford, go on holiday somewhere nice, every five years make that Antigua but in between Italy is fine.

Then die.

With a happy smile on your face.

Be mourned.

Be missed.

Be gone.

We’ve lived for millions of years now. We should be able to do this.

Today I eat the world by Jarred McGinnis

Read by Tim Aldrich

Today I eat the world, I said to myself.

I descended the stairs, pyjama-clad, and began preparing an American breakfast from the deepsouth of my childhood. The kind of breakfast that gave my bearded forefathers,still stinking of bourbon, the get-up-and-go to destroy entire Native American nations and still have enough moxy and pep to lay an intercontinental railroad with their bones. It was to be nourishment enough to win the cold war, the war on drugs, and, for kicks, a few south Asian conflicts and humanitarian interventions. You don't cure polio or invent rock and roll on an empty stomach, no sir.